I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
