i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
we're so committed to being not committed
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
