She's JV to your varsity
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
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