It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Randomize
