Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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