Screwed.edu
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
