I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize