I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
