he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Dicks are not precious.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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