You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
