drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
