I murdered the dance floor call the cops
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
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