Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
he puts the penis in happiness.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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