Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
third nipple confirmed
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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