Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Houston, we have a blender
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
