I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
