I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
This is my gift to your gina
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
