just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
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