I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
