Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
