if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
