dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Its about making memories worth repressing
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
