someone get that fucking seahorse.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
