he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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