life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I have fence marks all over my body
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize
