The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
