period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Randomize
