You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
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