Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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