The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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