I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize