Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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