I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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