Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
