she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I think I sprained my soul last night
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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