oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
