"it" just moved
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
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