Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.

Fav 66 2120 4172
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(502): View more from Kentucky

new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home

Fav 25 7330 1246
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(941): View more from Florida

there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.

Fav 8 5237 1088
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(859): View more from Kentucky

And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.

Fav 9 2315 1801
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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.

Fav 20 2167 2940
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(479): View more from Arkansas

Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.

Fav 6 2331 741
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(847): View more from Illinois

Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.

(847): View more from Illinois

It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.

Fav 10 3064 1186
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(810): View more from Michigan

I will find, mount, and marry that person.

Fav 1 57 14
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(248): View more from Michigan

Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?

Fav 0 27 28
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