he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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