Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(281): View more from Texas

I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

My cha cha got a haircut

(724): View more from Pennsylvania

thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf

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(708): View more from Illinois

She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.

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(661): View more from California

the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero

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(661): View more from California

Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'

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(360): View more from Washington

We could just stay sober.

(909): View more from California

No! We tried that once.

(909): View more from California

It sucked.

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