I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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