Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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