I need help removing her.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
