We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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