I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Randomize