It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Randomize
