but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
