covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I have demons in me.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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