I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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