somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
there is puke in my bra ... again
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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