dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
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