You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
