so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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