Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
