plz talk dirty to me
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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