She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
