My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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