I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
