I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
