Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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