respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Randomize
