Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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