If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
