dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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