He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize