So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
