fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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