you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
