you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
they call him Oral-B. enough said
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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