she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
