So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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