I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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