apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize