We're facebook friends in real life
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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