My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
